Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dream Big

First published on November 14, 2009 on My Life Is Like A Song


When I was a little boy
I swore that I would change the world
when I grew up
Nothing else would be enough


I see it everyday
We settled for safe
And lose ourselves along the way


'Cause if you don't dream big
what's the use of dreaming
(Dream Big by David Cook)


Last spring, I saw a presentation from Mothers On Fire. You can read what I wrote about it here in case you want the background to this post.

This fall, I saw a second presentation from Mothers on Fire. I was going to write about it, but then got sidetracked when I read what I wrote about the first presentation and was reminded that I hadn't been a "mother on fire" since that first presentation (which was a couple of days after getting a puppy). You can read that post here.

So now, I will write about the second presentation by Brenda Jasmin of Mothers on Fire.

This presentation didn't resonate as much with me as the first one, maybe because it's not as much fun as the first one "Finding Your Inner Fire". It was about "Getting Over Guilt".

I guess I do feel guilty about some aspects of parenting and homemaking but I rarely feel guilty about having time for myself like a lot of mothers do.

I believe that the main reason I am like this is because of my husband. He always believed in the importance of his activities and his friends and always encouraged me whenever I had an opportunity to go out with my friends or for activities I enjoyed. It has been a give and take for us. I never questioned the activities that were important to him and he never questioned the activities that were important to me. We supported each other.

The timing was good to hear about guilt though (and to revisit that first presentation) because I struggled with the first few months of having a puppy. Being at a mother's group and listening to moms talk about feeling guilty for not being able to accomplish as much as they used to, it reminded me that I am a new mother. I hadn't really made the realization that I do have a newborn that I have been taking care of...it's just not a human newborn but a puppy.

Brenda also talked about being a "good enough" mother and not a "perfect" mother. This again, was not an ideal topic for me. I don't think I ever pretended that I could be a perfect mother. I think I let go of perfection in motherhood early on. (I do have perfectionist tendencies though but that's a different topic altogether) So when we were talking about what a "perfect" mother is like, I never tried to achieve the characteristics of the "perfect" mother.

Could I be a better mother than I am? Yes I could, and I keep trying to improve but perfect was never what I tried to achieve.

This presentation was a great reminder for me though to let go of the guilt of the past few months and make sure that as I try to make my dreams come true, I don't feel guilty in the future.

My favourite items on the Top Ten List for Getting Over Guilt include:
  • Resist the urge to compare yourself and your children to others.
  • Find times to be present for your kids.
  • Take time to acknowledge what you have accomplished.
  • Let go of the opinions of others (and society) and listen to your own inner voice.
  • Remember that when you also take care of your own needs and do things that make you happy, your loved ones benefit.
  • Connect your activity to your deeper values and dreams.
Mothers on Fire has reminded me to follow my dreams. I have been writing a lot about it in the past few months. With the Olympics being held in my country in less than 100 days, my dream of attending the Olympic Games has been my focus.

I am one step closer today to realizing that dream. After over four hours of two computers refreshing every 30 seconds and my fingers redialing for tickets yesterday, I managed to secure a ticket to the Opening Ceremony.

There are still some walls to surmount before I get there, but this is the first step. Now that I have a ticket, I will continue to work at fulfilling my dream by booking a flight, arranging accommodation, arranging for my kids and puppy care and of course, work on my finances (this is not a cheap dream). The biggest challenge will be ensuring that Mother Nature doesn't wreak havoc with my dream. It will be February in Canada. Snow storms happen. Flights get cancelled. I am trying to make sure that I take all these "walls" into consideration as I plan my trip.

I do believe that if I had not been introduced to Mothers on Fire, I would not be going to the Olympic Games this winter. I had given up on that dream last year when I looked at getting tickets for my whole family and realized financially (and logistically) it was not realistic. The timing of those two presentations was perfect for me. Would I rather go to the Olympics with my family? Absolutely!! But going alone is better than not going at all and going alone is realistic and doable.

When trying to make dreams come true, we will come up against walls. You can read my post about "they're just walls" here. These walls are not meant to stop us, but to make us show how much we want something. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson late in life (but fortunately not too late). I used to give up on my dreams too easily.

I hope that my going to the Olympic Games will teach my children to Dream Big. We don't know what we are capable of until we climb over, dig under, go around or knock those walls down.

'Cause if you don't dream big what's the use of dreaming

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Partial Dream Come True

Originally appeared on My Life is Like A Song on November 4, 2009

They say that when we write our dreams down, we should be specific. In case you have missed my recent posts about my dreams, go back a few posts to fill in the gaps.

After one friend called to share his viewing of the Olympic Torch going by in Victoria, another friend of mine got to carry the Olympic Torch in the Olympic Relay.

What a wonderful surprise I got while I was preparing dinner last night to have that friend (who had just flew home that day) show up at my door with a long box containing THE Olympic Torch....ok, HIS Olympic Torch (since there are over 12000 of them)....but an Olympic Torch that has been lit with THE Olympic Flame!

To make things even better, he leaves the Olympic Torch with me to enjoy for 24 hours.

Seriously???? He's going to leave it with me?



A friend of mine described this photo of me with the words..."it looks like you're a kid in a candy store". Imagine if I actually got to run in the relay...what would that photo look like? LOL

So last night, I called my family and some friends to share my happiness. More than one person said, isn't your dream to carry an Olympic Torch? This could be your dream come true.

I did think that this could be as close as I get to my dream this year. I will watch the Torch Relay run past down the road from where I live. I will go downtown to see the Torch Relay Celebration...but I am now actually TOUCHING and HOLDING an Olympic Torch. I probably won't get to hold a lit one so this could be as good as it gets.

I may not get to Vancouver to be AT the Olympic Games.

So last night, we had dinner with the Olympic Torch on the table. I toasted with the favourite Canadian wine I had (Weir Wine Pinot Noir) and felt very blessed to have a friend who shared his experience with me.

I think it's very beautiful. It's long and curvy with the Vancouver 2010 inukshuk logo. It is heavy when you first pick it up, but for its size I didn't find it too heavy. I could easily run the 300m distance with it. The inspiration for its shape was:

"Canada’s open land, vast potential and smooth, fluid lines left in the snow and ice from winter sports"

This is what it looks like when it's lit:



You can see the evidence left behind from the lit flame on this photo.



On the one side, it has a bilingual inscription of
"With Glowing Hearts"
"Des Plus Brilliants Exploits"



On the other side there is a beautiful (because we know how much I love...) a maple leaf.



The stainless line on both sides are supposed to represent the blade of a skate.

I did look to see what I wrote as my dream in my book (whether it was to carry the torch or not). It says to...

"attend the Olympic Games" and then thinking that travelling across the country (or to another country) being a little unrealistic amended it to...

"be a torchbearer for the 2010 Olympics".

So, to those saying that I have realized my dream...just carrying an Olympic torch is not my dream...it is to BE a torchbearer for the 2010 Olympics. I was specific ;-)

It does not look like this dream will happen. I may be a torchbearer for a later Olympics. Who knows? And to be quite frank, I am a dreamer enough to still believe that somehow perhaps something could happen to make me a torchbearer. The Relay hasn't reached my province yet. But I am realistic enough to fully appreciate the experience I had last night...and today as I sit to write this with the Olympic Torch in sight.

I will chalk this up to a partial dream, and learn from the experience if the full dream doesn't happen.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

They're Just Walls

Originally published on My Life Is Like A Song on November 3, 2009

It doesn't matter what's in front of you
It's smaller than it seems
So don't you stop
Until they fall
They're just walls
(Walls by Ross Copperman)

A few weeks ago, I read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. If you think back a year or two, you may remember the professor who had terminal cancer and gave a "last lecture" - Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.

My mother was reading it over Thanksgiving weekend and I got it the following week to read.
The timing of me reading this book was perfect since the possibility of me achieving one of my childhood dreams is just around the corner.

You will know that in the last month, I have been thinking about my Olympic dream and trying to find out how to make it happen.

My favourite quote from The Last Lecture is:

Brick walls are there for a reason:
they let us prove how badly we want things.

I have been talking about brick walls a lot in the past few weeks. I have been thinking about all the brick walls I have come across with relation to my Olympic Dream in particular (and my other dreams).

Yesterday, one of my favourite singers posted a song on his My Space page. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it. You can listen to it at www.myspace.com/rosscopperman

Here are the lyrics (as I hear them):

Maybe it's the way they look at you
Their eyes telling you
That everything you do
Is never going to be good enough
They'll try to crush
The love you have inside
When you're just about to fly

So don't give up
Find your way around
Yeah don't give in
Til they all come crashing down
It doesn't matter what's in front of you
It's smaller than it seems
So don't you stop
Until they fall
They're just walls

I'm my own worse enemy
Sometimes I can't see
The forest through the trees
I get lost
I get paralyed
Then I realize
That I can see a light
Breaking through the other side

So don't give up
Find your way around
Yeah don't give in
Til they all coming crashing down
It doesn't matter what's in front of you
It's smaller than it seems
So don't you stop
Until they fall
They're just walls

When I told my husband (who has a blog about coincidences) he said (and this is my favourite quote for today):

"That's not a coincidence, that's the definition of synchronicity".

So, my dream to attend the Olympic Games may still not come true. I'm not saying that just because I read a book or sing a song that I will be able to surmount the walls I keep coming up against, but it is giving me motivation to try to scale them, go around them or knock them down.

If my dream doesn't come true, I will remember another great quote by Randy Pausch:

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.